It’s common to practice a large presentation or take notes before to a one-on-one meeting with your supervisor.
Conversation expert Alison Wood Brooks advises using a similar, condensed exercise before to informal encounters: Think about the topics you want to discuss, the questions you want to ask, or your objectives for the conversation for 30 seconds before you meet the other person.
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According to Wood Brooks, an associate professor at Harvard University who teaches an MBA course called “How to talk gooder in business and life,” putting thought into your casual conversations can make you appear intelligent, organized, and considerate—like a good friend who remembers even the smallest details of previous conversations.
According to Wood Brooks, whether you’re seeing an old friend for dinner or a coworker for lunch, try to be ready for even casual talks. “Even if you’re calling a friend you know well or your mom, what we find in our research is that even 30 seconds of forethought will make that conversation go better,” she explains.
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According to Wood Brooks, author of the 2025 book “Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves,” a brief mental exercise can help you remain in the present moment while speaking and listening. “You’ll have less brainpower to come up with talking prompts or conversational segues once the conversation starts,” she says.
“Once the conversation is underway, your brain becomes very busy … listening to the other person’s words, trying to read their emotional expressions, preparing what you’re going to say next,” Wood Brooks explains. “The task is really intellectually taxing. We’re more adept at coming up with ideas for our conversation before it starts.
Having strong communication skills can advance your job and help you develop relationships, but being a good conversationalist frequently requires constant practice, according to Wood Brooks.
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For instance, speaking guru and author John Bowe wrote for CNBC Make It on September 25 that you may always practice focusing more on the other person than yourself. “You’ve asked this person for their attention; now give them yours,” Bowe stated in a letter. “Pay attention to what they’re saying and attempt to deduce their motivation. The rest will happen on its own.
According to Matt Abrahams, a lecturer at Stanford University and conversation expert, one particularly effective statement is “Tell me more.”
“A support response is one that backs up what the other person is saying. Tell me more.” In October 2023, Abrahams wrote: “The opposite is a’shift’ response,” which is a comment that changes the focus back to you. Too many individuals consider other people’s tales as opportunities to talk about themselves. However, you lose out on a chance to learn more if you do it frequently.
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